


Bad Choices

by ClassicTrekker



Category: Airwolf
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-24 16:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassicTrekker/pseuds/ClassicTrekker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caitlin and Hawke have both made a lot of bad choices recently. Can they get past their mistakes, and somehow find each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Choices

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thanks to Mychand over at FanFiction.net for suggesting the title for this story! This is an original story (except for the title), and Hawke and Caitlin aren't together (completely) when the story begins. References are made to the S3 episode Kingdom Come, and to the S2 episode The Hunted. Enjoy—ClassicTrekker

_How am I gonna explain this one_? Caitlin O'Shannessy thought as she considered what had happened to her recently. _Actually, what I allowed to happen to me recently,_ Caitlin chided herself. She had been seduced by Ken Sawyer as part of a plot to use Airwolf to smuggle a batch of stolen nuclear detonators out of the country. _But that's not the worst of it,_ Caitlin thought as she remembered what happened after she and Sawyer had left the restaurant.

 

 _I brought him back to my place and, and I slept with him,_ Caitlin thought sadly. _I fell for the line of BS he was spouting—that he loved me, and wanted to be with me—hook, line, and sinker, and I slept with him._ Fortunately for Caitlin, she wasn't pregnant. They had used protection, and Caitlin had seen her doctor for a pregnancy test the next morning. _So at least I don't have that to worry about, thank goodness,_ she thought as she glanced across the hangar at Stringfellow Hawke, _but how am I gonna explain this to Hawke?_ She dreaded that conversation, knowing that if they talked about what happened with Sawyer, it might ruin whatever chances Caitlin had at starting a relationship with Hawke. _And to be honest, I'd rather be tied up on that ship with the bomb armed and ticking than have to explain what I did to String,_ Caitlin thought sadly.

 

 _He, he'll never want me that way if he knew what I did_. _'Course, I'm not sure he really wants me that way **anyway,** but once he hears about this, he'll never give me, or give **us,** a chance. And that hurts more than anything, because of how I feel about String. _She bit her lip to try to stop the tears she felt welling up in her eyes from flowing, and hoped frantically that String hadn't noticed.

 

 _What is going on with her?_ Stringfellow Hawke thought as he glanced over at Caitlin. _She's been on pins and needles practically ever since we rescued her from Sawyer. She barely talks to me, and for her, that's extremely strange._ Hawke remembered the kiss Caitlin had given him after she walked off the ship where Sawyer had held her captive. _It didn't feel completely like a kiss of gratitude,_ Hawke said to himself. _It felt more like the kind of kiss a woman gives a man she, she loves. Is that it? Does Cait love me?_ Hawke thought worriedly.

 

Not that Hawke didn't think Caitlin was an attractive woman. Far from it, in fact. _She's beautiful,_ Hawke admitted to himself. _But I can't think about her that way! Not with the curse!_ Hawke felt like there was a curse on him—that anyone he loved, or _might love,_ would die. But when Hawke thought about everything Caitlin had been through since she'd known him, and even things that had happened to her during her time with the Texas Highway Patrol in Pope County, he wondered if maybe he wasn't giving Caitlin O'Shannessy enough credit for her ability to defend herself.

 

 _But who am I kidding?_ Hawke thought, embarrassed. _There's no way Cait would want me that way, even without the curse._ Hawke had made some extremely bad choices with his female companions recently, probably the worst of which was Angelica Horn, but even his most recent liaison, with the Russian defector Inge Janek, hadn't done anything to improve Caitlin's opinion of him. _She probably thinks of me as a playboy, who can't settle down with one woman,_ he thought sadly. _And as much as I think she wants us to be together, I can't see someone like her falling for someone like me._ He glanced hesitantly across the hangar at Caitlin, and noticed her gazing back in his direction.

 

 _What the heck are you thinkin', Stringfellow Hawke?_ Caitlin thought when she saw Hawke glance at her.  She thought she saw, well, she wasn't sure _what_ she thought she saw, but something seemed different to Caitlin when she looked back at Hawke. _Must be because he's not wearin' those shades of his,_ she said to herself. Even from this distance, Caitlin could see Hawke's steel-blue eyes as he stared back at her. _If I'm not careful, I'm gonna get **lost** in those eyes, even from this far away. _Caitlin said to herself sadly. _I just wish, I wish that **I** could light his eyes up, the way I've seen other women do. But who am I kidding? The Cowboys have a better chance of goin' back to the Super Bowl than Stringfellow Hawke does of settling down with one woman, especially **me.** But, I can sure dream he would._ Sighing, Caitlin averted her gaze from Hawke and went back to work.

 

 _I've gotta do something,_ Dominic Santini thought as he observed Hawke and Caitlin, _But **what?**_ _Those two have been dancin' around their feelings practically since the day Caitlin came here lookin' for String, and I'm getting sick and tired of watchin' it. And I know Cait's got feelings for String that are more than just friendship. She as much as told me so back in Archangel's limo._ He recalled Caitlin's words when they were discussing rescuing Hawke from John Bradford Horn, and Dom declared that he would follow String's instructions and deliver Airwolf to Horn, alone.

 

“ _Dom, don't do that to me,_ ” Caitlin had told him. _“I care about him, too, y'know. Probably more than you know!”_ Dom had often wondered exactly what Caitlin meant by that comment, but had never gotten up the courage to ask her about it. _Of course, I know what I **hope** she meant, _ Dom thought. _I hope she meant that she loves String, even if that stubborn mule refuses to accept it, or admit how **he** feels about **her.**_ Silently, Dom watched his two friends and wondered for the millionth time if there was something he could do to help them acknowledge their feelings.

 

 _Uh-oh,_ Hawke thought worriedly as he noticed Dom's expression. _Dom's got that look in his eyes. I sure hope to hell he's not gonna start that again._ Dom had been trying to get Hawke to see Caitlin as more than the good friend he already acknowledged her as practically since the day her plane back to Texas had been hijacked, but his efforts had met with failure at every turn. _Why Dom can't get it through his head that I'm no good for Cait is beyond me. All he's gotta do is look at everybody else in my life. Mom and Dad, Kelly, Saint John, and Gabrielle, and he'd see that if Caitlin and I got involved that way, I'd be signing her death warrant. And I care about her too much, actually, I **love** her too much, to let anything happen to her, _Hawke said to himself, surprised at his use of the word “love” in his thoughts as they pertained to Caitlin. _If I ever let that out, that I love Cait, Dom would never let me hear the end of it,_ Hawke anxiously thought. _But I have grown to love her, a lot more than she knows_. _Maybe it's time to tell her exactly how I feel._

 

 _But look at the evidence,_ Hawke thought again. Almost as if in answer, a voice began talking in his head, one that Hawke had been endeavoring to squash recently, especially since they had rescued Caitlin from Sawyer.

 

 _Yeah, yeah,_ the voice said, _but look at all the dangers Caitlin's been in since she met you, and survived. Not to mention what she told you Bogan's boys tried to do to her back in Texas. Doesn't that mean **anything** to you, String?_ The voice asked him.

 

 _Ah, shut up,_ Hawke thought. _Besides, I like my life the way it is, thanks so much. I like my solitude, and the time I spend alone._

 

 _Alone,_ the voice scoffed. _Haven't you been alone long enough? C'mon, Hawke, admit it. Sometimes you do get a little lonely for more than just the 'woman of the week,' don't you?_

 

 _Yeah,_ Hawke thought, sighing quietly. _I do._ Just then, Dom walked over.

 

“Somethin' on your mind, String?” Dom asked.

 

“Nah,” Hawke replied. “Just thinkin' about, um, some things.”

 

“ _Oh?”_ Dom asked, suddenly interested. “What sort of, _things,_ if you don't mind my asking?”

 

“Actually, _yes,_ I do mind that you asked,” Hawke replied, his voice turning colder. “But since you did, I was thinking, about Caitlin.”

 

 _Now_ Dom was _really_ interested. “What _about_ Caitlin?” He demanded.

 

“None of your business, Dom,” Hawke snapped angrily.

 

“Sorry, String,” Dom said hesitantly. “But you know how I feel about you two—” he was suddenly cut off when Hawke interrupted him.

 

“Yes, Dom,” Hawke said, irritated. “I know all about how you feel about Caitlin and me. And _you_ know just as well why it can't happen between us! I mean, do I really have to go through it all again for you, Dom?”

 

“No, String,” Dom said, sighing. “You don't have to got through it all again, 'cause I've heard it so many times that I know it by heart, and I'm darned sick of it. I just wish you'd listen to reason for a few minutes! What happened to your parents, and to Kelly, were both _accidents,_ for Pete's sake! Nobody could've stopped them, and don't forget, _you_ could've been killed too! As for Saint John, and I know you're probably gonna hate me for sayin' this, but _we don't know_ what's going on with him, String! Doesn't that mean he might still be alive out there, somewhere? I don't know why you keep usin' him as part of this 'curse' you think you have when we don't know where he is, for God's sake!” Dom shouted, then suddenly realized how loud his voice had suddenly become, and he hoped Caitlin hadn't heard any of his outburst.

 

String felt a surge of anger at Dom for his apparent dismissal of Saint John's situation, until he thought about it for a minute. _Dom's, Dom's right about Saint John_. _We don't know where he is. Have I been denying my feelings about Cait because of something I don't know a damned thing about?_ Aloud, String said, “Okay, Dom, I'll agree with what you're sayin' about Saint John, but what about—” Hawke stopped when Dom interrupted him again.

 

“If this is about Gabrielle, I've told you over and over again that Moffet was _crazy,_ String! Even if he _did_ know you two were lovers, which I _highly doubt_ that he did; that's not why he killed her, for God's sake! Moffet killed Gabrielle because she was an obstacle to his plans, just like Angela, the crew on that Navy destroyer, those Mirage pilots, everybody who died that day at Red Star, and anybody else Moffet might have killed!”

 

“And besides,” Dom continued, oblivious to the murderous glare Hawke was shooting him, “let me remind you of a couple of things. Remember how Caitlin kissed you when she got off the ship? She sure didn't kiss _me_ that way, pal! And what about the look on her face when she saw you with Inge, huh? If that wasn't the expression of a _very jealous woman,_ then I guess I don't know what was! And I think I've seen enough jealous women in my time to know the expression when I see it, you know what I mean?” By now, Dom was worried that he might have pushed his best friend's younger, and more temperamental, son _just a tad_ too far.

 

“Dom,” String began, “everything you're saying makes sense. I just wonder if I haven't screwed up any chances I might have had with Cait, with all those other women she's seen me with. For example, I _do_ remember the look on her face when Cait saw me with Inge, and you might have thought Cait was jealous, but _I thought_ she was just angry.” Then, the little voice from earlier started talking again. _Angry, jealous, what difference does it make anyway, Hawke?_

 

 _Good point,_ Hawke was forced to admit, if for no other reason than to get the little voice to shut up. _And, maybe jealousy was **making** Cait angry_.

 

“Well?” Dom demanded. “What the heck do you think Cait would have been angry _about,_ under the circumstances?”

 

Sighing, Hawke shook his head at the man who had raised him, and his older brother Saint John, since their parents had died in the accident on the lake. “You're right, Dom. She was probably jealous, even though she didn't have any reason to be. I tell you what, Dom. If it'll get you off my back for a while, I promise you that I'll think about what you said. Okay?”

 

“Just _think_ about what I said?” Dom echoed, somewhat sarcastically.

 

“I can't promise you anything more than that, Dom,” Hawke said, his tone growing threatening.

 

“Okay, okay,” Dom replied. “I know when to back off.” He clapped String on the shoulder and went to find Caitlin. _Ha. '_ _She d_ _idn't have any reason to be jealous,'_ _my foot_. _Cait was jealous when she was watching you with Inge because she_ _ **loves**_ _you, ya dumb donkey! And I dunno why, but I get the feelin' you love her, too, String, in your own way. Now, we've just gotta get you to admit it._ _And I dunno why, but I get the feelin' you'll both be a lot happier when you do._

 

“Hey, Cait? You got a minute?” Dom asked a short time later.

 

“Sure, Dom,” Caitlin replied. “What's up?”

 

“Oh, nothin',” Dom said. “Just wonderin' if you heard any of what String and I were talkin' about a few minutes ago, that's all.” _And wonderin' what you thought, if you did hear any of it_.

 

“Well, I didn't hear much,” Caitlin replied, “but what I _did_ hear kinda got my attention. And, Dom, don't get me wrong. I appreciate what you're tryin' to do. I just, I don't think it's gonna work. String'll never see me that way. Especially not after—” she cut herself off abruptly, wondering if she'd inadvertently said too much.

 

“'Especially not after'— _what_ , Cait?” Dom demanded.

 

 _Oops. I did say too much_. Caitlin suddenly got worried, especially when she saw Hawke out of the corner of her eye. “Um, Dom, can we go in the office? I'd rather not have this conversation out here.” She glanced in Hawke's direction, and Dom understood immediately.

 

“Sure, sweetheart,” Dom said as he and Caitlin walked back into the hangar together, and into the small office.

 

“Okay, Cait,” Dom said after he'd locked the door behind them and sat down at his desk. “So, what did you mean by 'especially not after' out there? 'Especially not after'—what?”

 

“Dom, do you remember when Sawyer and I were dating? Before he kidnapped me? Didn't you ever wonder why, that night we went out to dinner, you didn't see me the next morning?”

 

“Well, yeah,” Dom said. “String and figured you'd had a late night of it, and had just overslept. We had no idea you were givin' that jerk a flying lesson.”

 

“Well, Dom,” Caitlin said sheepishly, “there was more to it than just the flying lesson.”

 

“ _More?”_ Dom asked, surprised. “What sort of _'more,'_ if you don't mind my askin'?”

 

“Um, well, Sawyer and I, that is—we,” Caitlin stammered, trying to get the words out.

 

“You—oh, no! Cait, you didn't!” Dom said, suddenly making a connection. _I sure hope it's the wrong one,_ _but I don't think it is_. “You mean you, _slept_ with him?”

 

“Yeah, Dom,” Caitlin replied. “You know what a smooth talker he was, almost an artist. Well, he sweet-talked me right into bed with him after we went out to dinner, and I fell for his baloney; hook, line, and sinker. So, I doubt String'll ever want me if he ever finds out about that,” Caitlin finished, tears streaming down her face.

 

“Cait, I—I don't know what to say,” Dom said, shocked. “But, I do agree with you about Sawyer. He was an artist. A _con artist,_ that is!” Caitlin forced a chuckle at Dom's play on words. _That's a polite way to describe him, Dom,_ she thought.

 

Dom continued, “Cait, what you do when you're not workin' here ain't none of my business; but honey, why in the world did you sleep with that jerk? Wait a second. Caitlin, you're not—? And you weren't—were you?” Dom couldn't bring himself to say the last words on his mind, but Caitlin knew what he was going to say.

 

“No, Dom, I'm not pregnant, thank goodness,” Caitlin said, and she saw Dom breathe a huge sigh of relief. “And even though I had a couple of drinks during dinner, I was stone cold sober, other than bein' completely hypnotized by that jerk and the line of BS he fed me. But, Dom, you've gotta promise me that what we're talkin' about in here will stay between _you and me._ Promise me?”

 

“Yeah, Cait,” Dom said, looking into her tear-stained eyes. “I promise. String won't hear a word of this.”

 

“Thanks,” Caitlin replied, dabbing at her eyes. “the whole thing's just so embarrassing, y'know?”

 

“Yeah, I do know,” Dom said, glancing over Cait's shoulder. “Uh-oh. Better dry those tears as quick as you can, honey; 'cause String's headed this way.”

 

“Okay, Dom,” Caitlin replied as she furiously wiped at her eyes. “But remember what you said.”

 

“Don't worry, Cait,” Dom replied as he walked over to the office door. “My lips are sealed.” He unlocked the office door just before Hawke would have put his own key into the lock.

 

“Must be a pretty serious conversation if you locked me out,” Hawke said, trying to inject a little humor into the situation. “Everything okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Caitlin replied. “Everything's fine, right, Dom?” she asked.

 

“Yeah,” Dom replied as they walked out of the office. “Everything's fine.” _I can't believe I just looked String in the face and lied to him,_ Dom thought sadly. _And Cait did, too._ _And what's worse_ _is that_ _I think he knows_ _we're_ _both_ _lyin' to him. But I told Cait I wouldn't say a word about Sawyer—and I won't. I, I just hope String'll forgive me, someday_. _'Cause when he figures out that I've lied to him, and that I knew about this, he's not gonna be very happy with me._

 

 _Uh-huh. Right. And you actually expect me to believe that?_ _Fat chance, you two. Something's going on here, and I'm gonna find out what it is,_ Hawke thought determinedly. _You don't just lock me out of the office for no reason._

 

Dom immediately got worried when he saw Hawke's expression change. _Uh-oh. I know that look. String's not gonna let this go until he figures out what's going on here. But I can't break Cait's confidence, any more than I could break String's. I'll, I'll just have to think of something._

 

That night when Dom took String back to his cabin, Hawke suddenly said, “What the heck were you and Cait talkin' about anyway, Dom? Looked pretty serious to me.”

 

“It was nothing, String, like we said before,” Dom replied anxiously.

 

“Right, Dom,” Hawke said. “You really don't expect me to _believe that,_ do ya? You don't just lock me out of the office like that if you're talking about 'nothing,' Dom. You never have. So, come on. What were you and Cait talkin' about that's so secret that you can't discuss it with me?”

 

“String,” Dom said, a little more confidently, “it's none of your business, okay?”

 

“Okay, Dom,” Hawke said, and the rest of the flight passed in silence. _Phew,_ Dom said to himself anxiously as String climbed out of the chopper. Dom quickly throttled it back up and headed back towards the hangar. _Almost let the cat outta the bag there, Cait_. _I'm_ _really_ _not sure how long I can keep quiet about this. Sooner or later, String's gonna figure it out, I know it._

 

As String watched Dom fly off, he wondered again what Dom and Caitlin were talking about. _It had to be something important. Dom never locks me out of the office like that. Well, I suppose I'll figure it out, eventually._ Sighing, he walked back into the cabin to get ready for dinner and what he hoped would be a good night's sleep.

 

Caitlin, meanwhile, was wrestling with her own frustrations over what had happened at the hangar that day. _'Cause I know String_. _And I know he's not gonna stop until he figures out what's been buggin' me so much lately. And I-_ _I'm_ _not sure I can handle that. 'Cause once he figures out what happened with me and Sawyer, he's never gonna want to speak to me, or do anything else with me, ever again._ She quickly finished the small dinner she'd fixed for herself, then went into her bedroom, lay down on the bed, and cried for hours, trying to cleanse as much of the hurt from her soul as she possibly could. _I guess maybe it's time_. _Time to go,_ _home._ _Back to Texas._ She closed her eyes again and fell into a fitful and dreamless sleep.

 

The next day, Caitlin was the first to arrive at the hangar, as usual. _One of these days, I oughta show up late, just to tick String off. But, wait. There aren't gonna be that many days anymore. 'Cause I decided last night that as soon as I can, I'm goin' home. Texas home. And I_ _ain't_ _comin' back for anything or anybody. That's, that's the only way I can keep String from findin' out what happened._ She tried to focus on getting the hangar open for business, but Hawke's face kept intruding on her thoughts. _His gorgeous face_. _What's it gonna feel like, not comin' in here and seein' his face every day? And_ _then there's_ _that smile of his. The few times I've ever seen him smile at me, it's absolutely taken my breath away. Can I-can I really just up and leave here? Leave Hawke?_ _And besides, the first words outta Mom's mouth, if I do_ _go back home_ _, will probably be somethin' along the lines of '_ _See?_ _I told y_ _a_ _so,_ _Caity girl_ _!', or somethin' to that effect. Heaven knows she's been buggin' me to come home practically since the hijacking. And I don't want to give her the satisfaction of being right._ She suddenly cut herself off as she heard a helicopter approaching, then noticed the familiar patriotic Santini Air paint job. _Dom, and Hawke,_ she said to herself, walking out to greet them as she had done so many days before.

 

As Hawke saw Caitlin walking out to greet the helicopter, he said to himself, _Well, here goes nothing._ He smiled as he climbed out of the helicopter, a warm, friendly smile directed at Caitlin. “Morning, Cait,” Hawke said to her, startling her.

 

“Oh! Um, Morning, Hawke,” Caitlin said, startled. _What is going on with him?_ _Hawke's never said 'good morning' to me first like that. At least, not without Dom sayin' something about it. And there's that smile again. The smile that makes me_ _go_ _absolutely weak in the knees._ Suddenly, Caitlin found herself reconsidering her plans to leave her job and go home to Texas. _Maybe—maybe I was a bit hasty_. _'Course, if I'm wrong, my heart's gonna be shattered into a billion pieces, at least, but_ _doggone it,_ _I've gotta know one way or the other._ _So I'll stay—for a while._ _At least, until I can figure out what the heck is going on in String's head._

 

 _Mission accomplished,_ Hawke said to himself when he noticed Dom and Caitlin's startled expressions. He'd decided before Dom came to the cabin to pick him up that he'd try to be nicer to Caitlin, or at least nicer than he'd been to her in a long time. _It can't hurt_. _And besides, I'd bet Cait will appreciate it._

 

“Okay, who the heck are you, and what the heck have you done with Stringfellow Hawke?” Dom demanded later. He'd seen String—or at least, the guy who _looked,_ and _talked_ like String—being nicer to Caitlin than Dom could ever recall, including buying her lunch that afternoon. “You're not actin' like yourself, buddy.”

 

“I know, Dom,” Hawke replied. “I just, think I need to be nicer to Caitlin, y'know?”

 

 _That's what I've been tryin' to tell you!_ Dom felt himself hoping his emotions weren't apparent on his face. Aloud, he said, “Any particular reason?”

 

“Well, Dom, if you must know, I've been—thinkin' about what we talked about the other day,” Hawke said after he carefully looked around to make sure Caitlin was nowhere within earshot. “And, you were right. We don't know what's going on with Saint John, and goodness knows, Caitlin's perfectly capable of takin' care of herself. Like she told that guy on the plane, she knows karate, and she gives free samples.” _And you felt one of those free samples not long ago, String._ Hawke found himself unconsciously wincing as he remembered the bruise that Caitlin's combat boot had left on his chest for two weeks after he'd been rescued from John Bradford Horn.

 

“So, what's the bottom line here, String?” Dom demanded.

 

“The bottom line is, Dom, I'm, I'm gonna see if Cait's as interested in me as you seem to think she is. Because—and I never thought I'd say this again after Gabrielle, but I think, I think I'm in love with Cait, Dom. And unless I'm completely misinterpreting what you said Cait told you in Michael's limo, I have the feeling that she feels the same way about me. So I'm going to see if you're right about how she feels about me.”

 

“I never thought I'd live to see this day, String!” Dom said happily, before he grabbed String in a manly hug. “And, don't you worry, String. I promise, this'll stay between you and me, buddy!”

 

“ _What_ will stay between you and String, Dom?” came a voice from behind Dom. _Oh, no_. _How much did she hear?_

 

“Um, nothin', Cait,” Dom said hesitantly.

 

“Okay, Dom, if you insist,” Caitlin said, but her expression told Dom that she didn't buy what he was telling her. _I'm sorry, Cait,_ _but I'm not gonna break String's confidence any more than I'd break yours. So, it looks like I'm gonna be keepin' secrets from both of ya._

 

“String?” Caitlin asked a few hours later, “what were you and Dom talkin' about when I came up to you earlier?”

 

“It was nothing, Cait,” Hawke assured her. “I was just telling Dom about—something I decided recently, that's all.”

 

“Then why the big secret?” Caitlin demanded. “It can't be _that_ important, can it?” Something in Hawke's expression made Caitlin wonder exactly what he was thinking of.

 

“That depends, Cait,” Hawke replied.

 

“Depends? On _what?_ ” Caitlin demanded.

 

“Um, nothing, Cait,” Hawke said hesitantly.

 

 _Uh-huh. Right. If you think I buy that one, buster, then you've got another think coming!_ _I'm gonna figure out what's going on in your head if it's the last thing I do, Stringfellow Hawke!_

 

 _I know that look_. _She's determined she's gonna figure out what's going on with me. Well, won't she be surprised._ Then, Hawke had a thought that decidedly disturbed him. _What if I'm wrong, and she doesn't feel that way about me? What if she doesn't love me the way I think she does? I guess, I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes._ Hawke was thinking about his plans as he got ready for Dom to take him home.

 

“So, String. Any thoughts on how you're gonna do this?” Dom asked as they headed back towards the cabin.

 

“Oh, I'll be starting soon enough,” Hawke said, smiling over at Dom. “And you'll know when I start, _trust me._ Just be patient, okay?”

 

“Okay, okay,” Dom said. _String, you know that ain't gonna be easy for me!_

 

“Let's just say you'll know when I get things rolling,” Hawke said mysteriously as the cabin came into view. By the time he'd gotten out of the helicopter, Hawke knew he'd gotten Dom's imagination working overtime. _Just be patient, Dom_. _Even though I know how tough that's gonna be for you. Everything will be obvious, soon enough, I promise._

 

That night as he ate, something occurred to Hawke. _Could Cait be the woman I'm supposed to be with? I mean, she, she gets me, like no other woman ever has. Including Kelly, and Gabrielle. Could I—could_ _ **we—**_ _be missing out on something, wonderful, because I'm too stubborn to acknowledge how I feel?_ Once again as he fell asleep, Hawke found Caitlin's face at the forefront of his thoughts. _Her beautiful face,_ Hawke thought as he felt sleep finally claim him.

 

**The Next Afternoon, Santini Air...**

 

Dom had seen a lot in his lifetime, but what he'd seen from String today had to be more than even he expected. When they'd gotten to the hangar that morning, Hawke walked right up to Caitlin and _hugged_ her, for no reason whatsoever. _Good thing the doc just told me my heart's still hittin' on all eight, or what I just saw coulda given me a heart attack! But I've gotta admit, I liked what I saw!_ And something in Caitlin's expression told Dom that _she_ had liked what Hawke had just done, too.

  

“What was that for, String?” Caitlin had asked Hawke.

 

“No reason,” Hawke replied. “You, you don't mind, do you?”

 

“Of course I don't mind,” Caitlin replied. “In fact, I kinda wish you'd do that a lot more often.” Dom recalled the smile Caitlin had given Hawke just then. _String, if you don't know what that smile meant, then Alan and I musta done a real crummy job teachin' you about girls!_

 

As the day went on, though, Dom noticed Hawke doing exactly what Caitlin had hinted at—he began touching her a lot more often, and not in a friendly way like Dom had seen happen so many times before. Hawke would walk up next to Caitlin and slide his arm around her waist for no reason, for example. The first time he did it, Caitlin's reaction was exactly the opposite of what Hawke had expected—she reacted like someone had just grabbed her from behind—but as soon as she realized it was Hawke's arm around her waist, she relaxed immediately and said, “Well, hello to you, too, String.”

 

“Sorry about that, Cait,” String apologized. “You don't—?”

 

“No, I don't mind,” Caitlin said, smiling up at him. “I just, wasn't expecting it, that's all.”

 

“I understand, Cait,” Hawke told her.

 

Dom had to bite his tongue to control his excitement at what he'd just seen. _Okay, I get it_. _String told me I'd know when he got things rolling, and I guess I do!_ _And like I thought before, I sure like what I see!_ Still, Dom couldn't help but worry about what would happen when Cait's night with Sawyer, along with String's recent indiscretions, fully came to light. _But then again, neither String nor Cait knew how the other felt. So, maybe that'll help. I sure hope so!_ Dom tried to silence the voice in his head as he went back to work.

 

Over the course of the next few weeks, Dom began noticing Hawke trying to spend as much time as possible with Caitlin—buying her lunch every chance he had, and always smiling—Dom remarked at one point, “That boy's been smilin' more in the last few days than he has in the last _year!_ ”

  

“I know, Dom,” Caitlin said. “I just wonder who put that smile there.” _And I wish to heck it was me that had done it,_ Caitlin thought sadly. _And I wonder if String knows what that smile does to me,_ she thought, remembering how every time she'd seen him smile at her, she'd gone absolutely weak in the knees.

 

“I dunno, sweetheart,” Dom said, smiling at her. _I just lied to her again. But, I kinda have to. If I told Cait what I knew, String would never forgive me._

 

As she drove home that night, Caitlin's mind was buzzing with curiosity over Hawke's new attitude. _What's gotten into you, Stringfellow Hawke?_ _You're bein' charming, for maybe the first time since I've known you. And, I've gotta admit, I like it. A **lot.** And, I'm gonna do whatever I have to do to make sure that this new Stringfellow Hawke sticks around, 'cause as much as I loved him before, I think I love him even more now. But—if he finds out what happened with Ken and me, he'll probably hate me for the rest of his life. _ As she tried to fall asleep that night, Caitlin felt herself growing increasingly anxious at what would happen when String finally found out about her and Sawyer.

 

Meanwhile, at the cabin, Hawke was wondering how Caitlin felt about his change in attitude. _She seems to appreciate it,_ _but I don't know. It's like, like she's worried about something. Of course, I guess I can understand that, with everything I've done that indicates I'm **not** interested in her—at least, until recently. And when she finds out about those other women, especially Inge and Angelica, I'll bet she's not gonna want to have anything to do with me. So I'll just have to keep that a secret for as long as I possibly can._

 

“Where the heck is String?” Dom asked Caitlin the next afternoon.

 

“I dunno, Dom,” Cait replied. “You sent him out after those parts at least an hour ago, didn't you?”

 

“Yeah. At _least,_ ” Dom said, suddenly growing concerned. “Well, why don't we take a little break?”

 

 “Sounds good, Dom,” Caitlin replied as Dom walked into the office, and came back a moment later with two sodas, handing one to Caitlin. They sat and made small talk about where String might be for a few minutes, until Dom noticed a man carrying the biggest bouquet of roses he thought he'd ever seen in his life. “Delivery for, Caitlin O'Shannessy?” the man asked.

 

“That's me,” Caitlin said as she set down her soda and stood up. “Oh, my!” Caitlin said when she saw the bouquet. “They're beautiful.” She took the flowers from the delivery man and handed them over to Dom, then quickly signed for them and gave the delivery man a nice tip. “Thank you, ma'am,” he said just before he walked away.

  

“So, who sent you the flowers, Cait?” Dom asked, curious.

  

“Good question, Dom,” Caitlin replied as she searched for a card. “Ah. Found it!” She said a moment later, producing the small white envelope. She opened it anxiously, but was disappointed when she found only two words printed on the small card: _Dinner tonight?_

 

“So?” Dom queried again.

 

“Your guess is as good as mine, Dom,” Caitlin replied, handing him the small card. _But I know who I wish they were from,_ she thought sadly. _And, I'll bet Dom wishes they were from String, too. But that's just dreamin,' so I shouldn't let it get me so down._

 

 _Darn it,_ Dom said when he saw no signature on the card. Just then, he heard a car driving up to the hangar, and was relieved when he saw Hawke step out of the Santini Air jeep. “It's about time you got back, String!” Dom said. “I was beginning to worry!”

 

“Sorry, Dom,” Hawke replied, handing over the boxes with the parts Dom had ordered, “but things took a little longer than I thought they would.” _Ah,_ String felt himself trying to mask a smile as he noticed that the flowers had arrived, _I see the reason why I_ _ran so_ _late is here already. Wonder what Cait's thinking about that?_ Hawke said to himself, trying to mask his emotions with the stoic expression that Cait and Dom were both so familiar with.

 

“Okay, String,” Dom said, but his mind was racing. _String, you didn't. Or did ya?_ He knew what he was thinking would probably get him into no end of trouble with String, especially if he was wrong, but Dom couldn't deny the thoughts in his head—that _String_ had been the one to send those roses to Caitlin, and that was the reason he'd been so late getting back to the hangar. _I sure hope so,_ _'cause I got a feelin' Cait's thinking the same thing. And I got another very **bad** feeling about all this. I dunno if she can take it if she's wrong about that._ Sighing, Dom realized he'd have to wait until they closed up the hangar to see who Caitlin's new admirer was. Surprisingly, he was able to find a vase and put Caitlin's flowers in water, but something still didn't seem right to Dom. _Why isn't String upset about Cait getting flowers from a secret admirer? Unless—_ Dom decided to put his thoughts aside until he had some more hard evidence, but he thought he knew what was going on—and he realized that if he was right, he couldn't be happier. _But Cait'll be even happier than I am, if what I'm thinkin' is right. But on the other hand, I don't even want to think about what's gonna happen if I'm wrong. I mean, At the very least, Cait'll quit workin' here and head back to Texas, and whether String wants to admit it or not, that'd just kill him. And if Cait leaving didn't kill him, or she didn't kill him herself, then **I** just might! 'Cause I've grown to love that little gal just like she was my daughter, and it drives me nuts the way String's been treating her. At least, until recently. Something just doesn't add up here, and I don't like it. Not one bit. But, I'll just wait and see, like Cait. It's not like I've got any other choice,_ Dom thought.

 

Caitlin's mood had decidedly soured as they closed up the hangar. _Okay, so where's the guy?_ She had figured that whoever had sent those flowers would be at the hangar to pick her up, and she was anxious about having to turn down a date in front of Dom and Hawke. _'Cause after Sawyer, I'm not real crazy about goin' out with anybody, unless that somebody was named Stringfellow Hawke. He's about the only person I'd go out with right now, but that's just dreamin'. I mean, I know String would never take advantage of me the way Ken did, or do anything else that Ken did. That's one of the reasons I, I love String so danged much. Because I know he'd never hurt me the way Ken did. But I suppose I better face reality. String doesn't, or won't, feel the same way about me that I do about him, and that's never gonna change._ Caitlin fought to control the wave of tears that her thoughts had generated, knowing that her date was going to be there any minute. _Wouldn't do me any good if whoever it was saw me cryin'_. _That could end this date before it even gets started._

 

“You ready to go, String?” Dom asked. He was worried about Cait, but tried not to let his concern show too much. _Boy, I hope whoever wants to take Cait out gets here soon_.

 

“Um, not yet, Dom,” Hawke said, startling both Dom and Caitlin. _Take it easy, there, Dom._ Hawke was worried when he noticed Dom's expression. _And, here goes nothing._ After a few moments when Hawke was building up his courage, he turned towards Caitlin and asked, “Cait? Dinner tonight?”

 

Caitlin froze, and felt her heart jump directly into her throat. _What did he say?_ She slowly turned around to see Hawke smiling at her. She swallowed hard a couple of times and finally was able to say, “What? String, are you asking me out on a _date?”_

 

“Yeah, Cait. I am. So, would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?” The longer she went without saying anything, the more worried she became that Hawke would just forget the whole thing. _Like hell he's gonna do that!_ _Even though I've gotta say 'no,'  I'm sure as heck not gonna let Hawke off the hook that easily!_ Caitlin said to herself, finally feeling like she could answer Hawke.

 

“String,” Caitlin began, “I'm sorry, but I can't tonight. I mean, I'd love to go out with you, but see, whoever sent me those roses is gonna be here any minute to take me out on a date, 'cause the card said—” Caitlin suddenly stopped herself as she realized what was happening. Or at least, what she _hoped_ was happening. _Oh, my God!_ Caitlin said to herself excitedly. _Wait just a minute!_ _The card with the roses said 'Dinner tonight?'!_ Caitlin caught herself daring to hope that String had been the one to send the roses to her, and that the words on the card were his way of asking her out on a date. _But String, he didn't! Did he? God, if you'll just please give me this one thing, I swear I'll never ask you for anything again as long as I live!_ Aloud, Caitlin said, “Wait just a second! String, are you tellin' me that, that _you_ sent me those roses? And that you want to—?” Caitlin suddenly felt her eyes flood with tears. _If I'm wrong, then I'm gone,_ Caitlin said to herself excitedly, trying to prepare her heart for disappointment, _but somethin' tells me I'm not._ Suddenly, something Sawyer had told her when they first met crossed Caitlin's mind. _“The more you're willing to risk, the greater the reward.” Well,_ Caitlin thought, _I'm sure riskin' everything right now! I hope Sawyer knew what he was talkin' about!_

 

“Yeah, Cait,” Hawke said as he walked up to her and laid his hands on her shoulders. “I did send those flowers, and I'm the one who wants to take you out tonight. There's, there's a lot I need to talk to you about, Cait,” Hawke finished, as he saw Caitlin's eyes light up.

 

“String,” Caitlin said, “I'd love to.” She smiled up at him, hoping he could see her happiness reflected in her eyes. _Oh God, thank you! Thank you!_ Caitlin thought excitedly. _I guess I have to admit, Sawyer did know what he was talking about,_ she thought. Then she saw Hawke smile at her, and just like every other time he'd smiled at her lately, Caitlin felt her knees going weak. Quickly, though, Hawke tightened his arms around her to keep her from falling. “Cait? You okay?” he asked, concerned.

  

“I—I'm fine, String,” Cait replied. “It's just that you don't know what that smile of yours does to me. Or,” she said, blushing, “at least, you _didn't know,_ until just now.” 

 

“You're right, Cait. I didn't know,” Hawke replied. “And your smile makes me happier than I've been in a long time, Cait. I—I hope you know that.”

  

“I'm glad, String,” Caitlin said as she smiled up at him again, and Hawke swore he felt his heart flip.

 

“Okay,” String said, then turned to Dom. “Dom? You okay for a while?”

 

“Hell yeah, I'll be okay, String. I think I can keep myself occupied 'till you get back. And if I do get bored, I can always go home and you can take a chopper up to the cabin yourself, y'know!” Dom said, grinning from ear to ear. 

 

“Yeah, Dom,” Hawke said as he slipped his arm around Caitlin's waist, and felt hers go around his. “I know. But don't worry. We won't be too long,” he said as they walked out of the hangar over to the Jeep. String opened Caitlin's door for her, then walked around to the driver's side door, climbed in, and in a few moments, they were headed away from the hangar, as Dom began working on cleaning up the office. _This oughta keep me busy for a while_. _I can't believe String's finally gonna take the chance on Cait!_ _But, I'm still worried. 'Cause when he finds out about what happened with Cait and Sawyer, who knows what that boy of mine will do? And of course, Cait's not gonna be too happy when she finds out what happened with String and Angelica. And, String and Inge. But I suppose, I'll worry about that when—and **if—** the time comes_. Dom sighed and went back to work, even though his mind was on his two young friends and what discoveries the evening would bring.

 

Three hours later, Dom was beginning to think about leaving String a note and heading home, when he suddenly heard the Jeep pulling up to the hangar. He moved to a position where he could watch what was happening, but not make it obvious to Hawke and Caitlin that he was watching. He smiled as String got out of the Jeep, then walked around to Caitlin's door and opened it for her. _Just like we taught him, Alan old buddy._ Dom wiped a tear from his eye at the thought of Hawke's father, as he watched Hawke and Caitlin walking over to her car, and then Dom saw something that literally made his heart flip. String took Caitlin into his arms, and then, _he kissed her._ And not a friendly peck like Dom had seen Hawke give Caitlin a million times before. _This_ kiss looked like the one from that movie set a few months ago, after the director had chewed String and Caitlin out to make the kiss more 'realistic.' _Oh, I like what I see!_ Finally, after what Dom thought was way too long, the kiss broke and Hawke and Caitlin walked over to her car. Hawke opened Caitlin's door for her, and she kissed him again quickly before she climbed into her car to head for home. Dom tried to make himself look busy as he saw String walking towards the hangar, but String smiled and said, “Forget it, Dom, we saw you watching.”

 

“So?” Dom demanded as they climbed into the chopper. “What happened tonight?”

 

“Well,” Hawke replied, “Caitlin and I had a long talk about our feelings tonight, and we each learned something about the other person.”

 

“What might that be, String?” Dom asked, hoping against hope that he knew the answer.

 

“Simple, Dom,” Hawke said, “Caitlin and I learned that we love each other. Of course, I think I had a pretty good idea how Caitlin felt, but she just didn't know how I felt, until tonight.”

 

“Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that, String!” Dom said excitedly. Almost immediately, though, he remembered what Caitlin had told him about Sawyer. _I sure hope that doesn't wreck what you started tonight_. _But then again, you're not without your secrets either, String_.

 

Over the course of the next few weeks, Dom watched Caitlin and String growing closer every day. When String began taking Caitlin to the cabin for dinner, Dom began wondering how long it would be before they decided to take their relationship to the next level—and, the prospect suddenly had him worried sick. _'Cause Cait's gonna have to tell String about Sawyer, and that could just, kill him_. _Not to mention what it would do to their relationship. But they'll figure it out. I hope_.

 

A few weeks later, Hawke and Caitlin were up at his cabin after dinner, and Hawke felt like the mood had decidedly turned romantic. He stood up from the couch and pulled Caitlin up with him, kissing her with everything he had, all the pent up emotions he'd been holding inside for so long. He felt Caitlin begin to return his passions with her own, but as Caitlin felt his hands moving up her body towards the zipper on the back of her dress, she suddenly, and forcefully, pulled away from him. “No. String, we can't. It's not that I don't want you, String. Believe me, I want you so badly it hurts, but I, I just can't do this.”

  

“Why not, Cait?” Hawke asked worriedly, especially after Caitlin turned her back to him.

  

“Because, String,” Caitlin said, “there's, there's somethin' you don't know about me, and when I tell you about it, you're probably not gonna want to have anything to do with me ever again.”

  

“Caitlin, I don't think there's anything you could tell me that would make me feel that way about you,” Hawke said as he put his hands gently on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Please, baby, tell me what's got you so upset.”

  

“Okay, String,” Caitlin said nervously. “You asked for it.” She slipped out of his arms and walked a few steps away from him, then turned back to him and looked him in the eye. “Do you remember the night Ken took me out to dinner, before he kidnapped me?” She asked him, and saw Hawke nod affirmatively.

  

“Yeah, I remember, Cait,” Hawke said, not sure where the conversation was headed. “I remember I felt jealous as hell watching you with Sawyer, but I couldn't bring myself to tell you how I felt. But why is that a problem now?” He asked.

 

“Well, didn't you notice something, strange, when I wasn't at the hangar when you guys got there the next morning?” Caitlin asked him.

  

“No,” Hawke said, more confused than ever. “I mean, Dom and I figured you'd had a late night of it, and got to the hangar just in time to take Sawyer on that flying lesson. It wasn't a big deal, y'know,” Hawke said, wondering why this piece of information had Caitlin so upset.

 

“That's what I'm tryin' to tell you, String. It _was_ a big deal,” Caitlin said hesitantly, her voice shaking like she could burst into tears again. “Sawyer and I, that is, we, oh God, String! I can't even say it!” Caitlin said as she felt the tears begin flowing again.

 

Suddenly, the reason Caitlin had drawn away from him hit Hawke like a burst of fire from Airwolf's chain guns. _Or a Hellfire missile. She doesn't have to say it—because, I get it. I get what Cait's been so worried about lately. And I understand why Cait thinks I'd never want anything to do with her ever again. Because she and Sawyer slept together_. “Cait, are you saying that you-you slept with Sawyer?” Hawke asked.

 

It took a few minutes, but finally, Caitlin felt like she'd calmed down enough to answer Hawke. “Yeah,” Caitlin admitted, embarrassed. “Sawyer was such a smooth talker. Dom called him a con artist, actually; and Sawyer smooth-talked me right into bed with him. It, it was only that one night, String, and I'm not pregnant or anything. I just, I just didn't want to tell you, especially now. I mean, we're finally getting close the way I always wanted us to, and now that you know this, you're just gonna hate me, String, I know you will!” She turned away from him again and burst into tears again, crying harder than Hawke could ever remember. _Even when she thought she'd killed me, with that antidote to Horn's brainwashing, she wasn't crying like this_. Hawke thought. _And even though I know I shouldn't, I feel like it's my fault._

 

Hawke's emotions had gone into a tailspin the moment Caitlin made her confession about sleeping with Sawyer. _Now I really wish I would have gotten a chance to beat the hell out of Sawyer, instead of just blowin' him out of the sky the way I did. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised about what happened_. _Like Cait said, Sawyer was an awful smooth talker, and a great con artist. I heard it and saw it myself. And he probably would've done the same thing to any woman in Cait's position, if he thought it would help him get to me and Airwolf. And besides which, she had no idea I loved her when this happened. And it's not like I don't have a few secrets of my own. I—I better tell her it's okay._ Hawke took a deep breath to calm himself as he walked up behind Caitlin and placed his hands gently on her shoulders, turning her to face him.

  

“Go ahead, Hawke,” Caitlin said through her tears. “Go ahead and tell me you hate me, and that you don't want anything to do with someone like me, after what I did. Go ahead,” she said as she looked hesitantly up into Hawke's eyes. But instead of seeing the hatred and disgust she had expected, Caitlin was surprised to see that Hawke's eyes as they stared back at her were filled with an expression of pure, unadulterated love.

 

“Caitlin,” Hawke said, “I don't hate you because of what happened. In fact, I appreciate the fact that you were honest with me about what happened that night. You're right about Sawyer. He was a great con artist, and a real smooth talker. Heck, I heard it myself. And he probably would've done the same thing with anybody else in your position, as long as it would help him get to me and Airwolf. And besides, I doubt you would have let it happen if you'd known how I felt about you, right?” Caitlin smiled nervously and nodded at him “Right, String,” she finally said.

  

“So,” Hawke said, smiling at Caitlin, “I don't hate you for what happened with Sawyer. In fact,” Hawke said, his tone of voice suddenly turning nervous, “since we're making confessions here, I have something to tell you, too.” _And I'm not real sure what you're going to think of **me** , when you hear what I have to say_.

 

“Angelica?” Caitlin asked, suspecting what String was talking about. _After all, that's why I called 'dibs' on Angelica_. _'Cause I figured_ _String had_ _slept with her._

 

“And, Inge,” Hawke said, embarrassed. “So I wouldn't blame _you_ if you hated _me,_ either.” Hawke said, concerned over what Caitlin would say. _Well. I finally know why she called 'dibs' on Angelica that day,_ Hawke thought.

 

The silence that followed Hawke's confession made him extremely nervous. Finally, Caitlin said, “Well, I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not. After all,” she said, “that's why I called 'dibs' on Angelica.” Hawke nodded, remembering how cold Caitlin's voice had sounded that day. _I figured as much,_ he thought.

  

“Not to mention, that's the reason I was lookin' as angry as I was the day Michael took Inge into asylum,” Caitlin said. _I knew it._ Hawke remembered Caitlin's expression that day, and suddenly understood the reason for it, even though he'd suspected Caitlin knew what had happened between them. “I understand, Cait, and I apologize again for that.”

 

Caitlin smiled up at him. “Thanks. But let me tell you somethin', String. Daddy always taught all of us kids never to hold a grudge, especially against someone we love. And besides, like you said before, if we'd known how we feel about each other, none of these things woulda happened, right?” Caitlin waited nervously until String smiled and said, “You're right, Cait,” as he took her in his arms again. “I never would've slept with either of those women if I'd known how you felt about me, just like I know that you wouldn't have slept with Sawyer if you'd known how I felt.”

 

“You're right, String. So,” she said, her eyes shining, “I forgive you for what you did in the past, especially since you were honest with me about it. It's over now, and we've both learned our lessons. So,” she said, her expression turning decidedly mischievous, “if you still want me, then take me, String.” She hoped the invitation in her eyes was obvious to Hawke, but was surprised when he hesitated again.

 

“Cait,” Hawke said, causing her to get nervous for a moment, “my only question is whether or not _you_ still want _me_ , especially with all the, other baggage and issues I've got _._ ”

  

“Oh, for Pete's sake! String,” Caitlin said impatiently, “I don't want to hear about some cockamamie curse you think you've got on yourself! Yes, what happened to your parents, and Kelly, were both tragedies, but they were accidents, for cryin' out loud! As for Gabrielle—”

  

“I know, Cait,” Hawke interrupted. “Moffet would've killed Gabrielle even if we weren't lovers. He probably didn't even know we _were_ lovers, after all. And as far as Saint John goes, we—we don't know where he is, so he might still be alive, out there somewhere. We just don't know. Dom and I had a long discussion about that the other day. That's what we'd been talkin' about the other day, that we were keeping a secret,” Hawke confessed. “And, the _reason_ we were keeping it a secret was because I had also told Dom that I had finally figured out how I felt about you, and I had told Dom about my plan to show you how I feel.” Hawke smiled at Caitlin and was rewarded when she smiled back at him.

  

“Well,” Caitlin said, slipping her arms around Hawke's neck, “your plan worked absolutely perfectly. And, since you told me yours, I guess I'll tell you mine. That day when Dom and I were locked in the office, I was telling him about what happened with Sawyer and me, and how worried I was that if you ever found out, that you'd never want anything to do with me ever again. In fact,” Caitlin said, smiling shyly up at String, “I had already decided I was gonna quit workin' at the hangar and move back home to Texas to keep you from findin' out about it. That's how embarrassed I was about it.” Hawke nodded that he understood as Caitlin continued, “But, I'm sure glad I didn't, 'cause it woulda been the hardest thing I've ever done, leavin' here like that. Leaving _you,_ String. 'Cause just like Meg Ryan said in _Top Gun,_ String, I am _one hundred percent, prime time,_ _ **in love with you.”**_

  

“And I'm just as much in love with you, Cait,” Hawke said as he pulled her closer to him. “I love you so very much, Caitlin. And I always will.” He smiled down at Caitlin, and she felt her knees begin to give way again. _Just like every other time he's smiled at me like that. Thank goodness I've got String's arms around me, 'cause I don't think I trust my legs a whole lot right now._ Unconsciously, she tightened her arms around String and kissed him with everything she had, hoping he would finally get the message of how much she wanted him. Then, she suddenly felt _him_ against her, and Caitlin realized that String wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

  

Hawke felt Caitlin's arms tighten around him, and her kiss was all the confirmation String needed of Caitlin's feelings for him. He quickly pulled them apart, then gathered Caitlin up in his arms and took her to the sleeping loft. And this time, when he reached for the zipper on the back of Caitlin's dress, she  encouraged him, whispering, “God, I want you, String!” as she unbuttoned his pants and shirt. 

  

“And I want _you,_ Cait,” String replied as they finished undressing one another. Once they were both naked, Hawke quickly proceeded to show Caitlin just how much he loved her, and he learned just how much she loved him in return.

  

“String?” Caitlin murmured happily when it was over.

  

“Hmm?” Hawke replied, the blood not quite having reached his brain yet.

  

“Thank you so much for not hating me for what happened between Sawyer and me. I've been so worried about what would happen when I told you. I thought for sure you'd hate me, and—” Hawke interrupted her the best way he knew how, with a deep and passionate kiss.

 

“Cait,” he said when he separated them, “you and I've both made some bad choices in regard to love and romance, and there's nothing we can do about them except learn from them, and move forward. And hopefully, we'll move forward _together._ That's what I want, Cait. I want us to be together.” Hawke sighed with relief when Caitlin nodded at him.

 

“And anyway, I should be thanking you, too, for not hating me; with everything I've done in the past. But,” Hawke continued, pulling her closer to him, “at least we finally made the _right_ choices.” He smiled hesitantly at Caitlin and was rewarded when she rolled in Hawke's arms and positioned herself underneath him again.

 

“Yeah, we did, String,” Caitlin said as she smiled lovingly at him, all the love she felt for him shining in her hazel eyes. “We sure did. And, I want us to move forward together, too. All I've ever wanted, ever since I met you, was for you to love me the same way I love you, String. Now, do me a favor?”

 

“Anything you want, baby,” Hawke replied, smiling at her, and hoping she could see how much he loved her reflected in his steel-blue eyes, the same way he could see her love for him in her eyes.

 

“What I want is for you to stop talking and make me yours, Stringfellow Hawke. _Now_.”

 

“Yes, ma'am,” Hawke replied with a smile as Caitlin guided him back into her.

 

When it was over, as Caitlin felt String pull her body tight against his own, she felt happy tears flood her eyes. _I can't believe it,_ she said to herself happily as she snuggled against String's body, _but he doesn't hate me for what I've done. And I sure hope I made it clear to him that I don't hate him for what he did. Now,_ she thought excitedly, _we can start thinking about a life together, the way I want us to be._ She couldn't believe when she'd seen String's eyes light up a few minutes ago, just before he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the sleeping loft. _Just the way I'd always hoped they would. And I get the feelin' that won't be the last time I see that light in his eyes, either. And **I** put it there. That makes me happiest of all._

 

Then she thought of something else. _Mom is gonna absolutely flip when she hears that String finally came around to our way of thinking! She'll be so happy, but not near as happy as I am._ Caitlin sighed happily as she pictured what her wedding day to String would look like, with her family and closest friends there with her. _I hope it happens, soon,_ she thought as she snuggled closer to Hawke, relishing in how she felt being in his arms, the way she'd always wanted to be. _This is what love is supposed to feel like,_ Caitlin thought excitedly. _What Sawyer and I did that night, that was—just sex. And he only slept with me to get me to keep my mouth shut. He didn't care about me. Not like String does, anyway. What String and I did a few minutes ago, that was making love,_ Caitlin thought happily as she felt sleep claiming her. _And what makes me even happier is finally knowin' that String loves me the same way I love him. The same way I'll always love him._ She sighed with happiness as she made herself comfortable in the arms of the man she loved. _And who I now know loves me the same way,_ she thought, happier than she had been in a long time as she envisioned the day that she and Hawke would be married.

 

 _We both made some incredibly bad choices,_ Hawke thought as he pulled Caitlin's body tight against his, _but through all of it, we still managed to find our way to each other. And what surprises me the most is that Cait doesn't hate me, even after everything I've done in the past. I guess, I guess maybe that means we're supposed to be together. And, I know Dom's been worried about what would happen when Cait and I found out about each other's secrets. But they're all out in the open now, and we're together in spite of all that. And I—I'm **happy.** For the first time since Gabrielle died, I'm honestly happy. And I think Cait's happy, too, _Hawke thought. _At least, I hope she is._

 

Hawke had to smile when he pictured Dom's face, after he heard the news. _We are going to have one heck of a story to tell Dom the next time we see him,_ Hawke thought, knowing that Dom had given them the next two days off. “Just, in case,” Dom had told String before he and Caitlin left for the cabin. _I'll make sure and tell Cait that in the morning._ _And now,_ Hawke thought as he relished in the feeling of holding Caitlin in his arms, _we can start planning for the future. Our future._ Hawke smiled as he found himself picturing the day that he and Caitlin exchanged wedding vows, outside on the dock. _Our future, together._

**THE END.**


End file.
